Wedding Guidelines
WEDDING GUIDELINES
Grace Community Church believes that marriage is a covenant relationship established by God to be a blessing – not only to the husband and wife – but to their children and their wider community. Since marriage is so vital, the leaders of Grace Community Church feel a responsibility to ensure that every couple has as good a start as possible.
Individual Character
Healthy marriages are built by healthy individuals. Couples intending marriage would do well to consider these questions:
Healthy marriages are built by healthy individuals. Couples intending marriage would do well to consider these questions:
Personal spirituality:
- Am I pursing a responsive and maturing relationship with Jesus Christ?
Personal maturity:
- Do I have any persistent hurts, habits, or hang-ups that would hamper my ability to love my spouse well?
- Have I demonstrated competency in managing my own finances and personal affairs?
Readiness:
- Are there any circumstances from my past that need to be addressed first before I give myself freely to another?
Relational maturity:
- Have I learned how to forgive and receive forgiveness?
- Have I learned how to give and receive loving feedback?
- Do I know how to resolve conflict and solve problems with another?
Social support:
- Do I have people in my life, besides my fiancé, who support and challenge me?
- Do we have people in our life who are aware of our relationship and have the right to speak into our lives?
Sexual Purity
Scripture is clear that marriage is a sacred covenant and the sexual union is a powerful expression of that unique relationship. Sexual intimacy displays the reality of two becoming one flesh. Therefore, Grace Pastors urge couples to abstain from sexual intimacy until they are married. If there has been sexual activity, they urge the couple to commit to covenant abstinence until the wedding day. This period of abstinence promotes growth in emotional and spiritual intimacy. If the couple is cohabiting, Grace Pastors recommend that they choose to live apart if at all possible.
Pastors
Grace Pastors
- Timing: In general, a couple should allow six months between securing the services of a Pastor and the wedding date.
- Availability: A couple is free to ask any Grace Pastor or associate Pastor to perform their wedding (due to his other obligations, the Senior Pastor, Dave Rodriguez, is not available). If the couple does not have a relationship with a pastor, we suggest that they select a pastor in the area they are or intend to be connected. For a directory of pastors available to perform weddings, click here.
- Discernment: Pastors at Grace have a responsibility to determine the readiness of a couple for marriage. Pastors acknowledge that some extenuating circumstances (such as pregnancy or military deployment) may prompt a couple to desire to get married quickly. The Pastor will make every effort to work with the couple. However, should the Pastor deem that the couple is not prepared for married life; s/he may ask the couple to take certain steps before performing the ceremony. If a Grace Pastor has refused to marry a couple, no other Grace Pastor will marry that couple.
Non-Grace Pastors
- Pastors from other congregations may perform a wedding in the Grace facility provided that they have made a contact with and secured the permission of the Associate Pastor of Grace Care, Greg Overby. To start this process, the pastor who is marrying you should write a letter of introduction to Greg at the following address:
Greg Overby
Associate Pastor, Grace Care Ministries
Grace Community Church
5504 E 146th St
Noblesville, IN 46069
317-580-2746
WEDDING REQUIREMENTS
Marriage Preparation
There are well-researched principles that help couples build healthy marriages. A marriage preparation course is a great way to gain information and skills. Acceptable options for those wishing to be married by a Grace Pastor or in the Grace facilities are:
Foundations for Marriage: A nine-week course offered to engaged (or almost engaged) couples. Registration is through the website at gracecc.org/weddings
Another Grace-approved Christian based program offered by another church or counseling organization. Participants must sign a release for the pastor who is marrying them (or the Associate Pastor of Grace Care Ministries) to communicate with the program facilitators. Some local programs are listed on the website at gracecc.org/weddings
A series of sessions with a Christian professional counselor focused on marriage preparation. Participants must sign a release for the pastor who is marrying them (or the Associate Pastor of Grace Care Ministries) to communicate with the counselor. The Grace Counselor referral list can be found at gracecc.org/counseling
Written Endorsements
We will need a brief, written endorsement of your relationship from someone you consider a “Pastor” in your life – someone who knows you and has the right to challenge you. It could be a group or team leader at GCC, a Pastor at GCC, a Pastor from another church, a mentor or family member.
This letter will answer the questions; how long have you known the couple? What role do you play in their lives? What qualities have you seen in their relationship that gives you confidence to recommend that they should get married?
Divorce Recovery (if applicable)
The leaders of Grace do not believe that a divorce disqualifies someone from re-marrying. However, they are concerned about ensuring that individuals have recovered from a previous marriage and are ready to start a new marital relationship. To ensure that you are ready to start a new marital relationship, you will be asked to discuss the following questions with one of the these pastors: Tim Ayers, Teaching Pastor; Chris Shore, Executive Pastor; Greg Overby, Associate Pastor of Grace Care; Ron Stohler, Pastor of Growth & Groups.
- How long it has been since your divorce(s) (the proposed wedding date must be at least one year from the divorce finalization)
- The nature of your divorce(s),
- The steps taken towards healing and growth
